Our Little Secret
by ItsMeLizz
Summary: After a night of partying, Shawn Johnson and Derek Hough wake up together without a tmemory of what happened. After they decide to stay friends and not complicate things any further, Shawn gets news that will change her life forever. How will he react? Will it change things for the better, or will Shawn's worse fears come true? rated T but could change.
1. Chapter 1

_Shawn was awakened by the sun shining through the window. She stretched her sleepy limbs and yawned. She looked around the dimly lit room and realized it wasn't her own. She turned to her left and saw someone with blond hair sprawled over his face. Shawn's eyes went wide and she prayed that it wasn't who she thought it was. Brushing the hair from his face, her breath caught in her throat when she saw a sleeping Derek. She couldn't breathe, her heart sank, and her fingers trembled. He started to stir, and his eyes fluttered open. _

_They both stared at each other both in disbelief until he held the side of his head and groaned. They turned on their backs and stared up at the ceiling. Neither of them said anything. Shawn couldn't breathe, and Derek had a mind splitting headache. Even if they wanted to speak, what would they say? I'm sorry we got drunk and slept together? No that wouldn't help at all. Either way this went, they would never be the same._

_Shawn shook her head and cleared her mind. She turned her head toward him, "What happened?" He rubbed his temples and sighed, "I don't know, I don't remember." Shawn would have laughed if the situation wasn't so serious, "Isn't that great. Where are my clothes?" She thought. _

"_Well I guess that settles that." Derek said dryly, She wrapped herself up into the sheets and got out of the bed and started to pace. Derek watched her and a small smile threatened to form on his lips. He watched as she started to have a freak out, "What are she going to do? I mean, what does this mean?" She wasn't even asking him, she was kinda mumbling to herself. Her back was to him and she wasn't even paying attention to him. He took that moment to get out of the bed to put on his boxers and pajama pants. She turned around and faced him, "I don't want anything to be awkward between us." She sat down on the edge of the king sized bed and buried her head in her hands._

_He didn't know what to say. What was there to say? Was he supposed to apologize? Was he supposed to wish he could take it all back when he didn't even remember it? He hesitantly sat next to her while he tried to figure out what to say. It was so awkward. Shawn looked at him and they just sat there in silence, both thinking about how they could possibly go back to being the same. He took a deep breath and scratched the back of his neck, "How about we just forget all of this happened?" _

* * *

Shawn still hadn't forgotten that day. And sitting in the doctor's office, she couldn't help but feel like that fateful night had something to do with why the doctor had called her back to the office. She had been feeling really sick as of late but had cast it off as the flu. But that didn't explain the weight gain and food cravings. When it lasted more than a week, Melissa had told her that it wasn't normal and told her to go checked out. She took Mel's advice and she went. They ran some tests and now she was waiting for the doctor to come in and tell her what was wrong with her.

Butterflies rose in the pit of her stomach and her palms began to sweat. She dug her nails into the cushions of the seat as she became unbelievably nervous.. Looking around the room, she saw posters about anatomy, and ways to take care of your body. On the desk in the corner were pictures of her Doctor and her family. The walls were white and textured to look similar to bricks. The linoleum floor was shiny and clean. It looked like the typical doctor's office and in a weird way, it comforted her. She inhaled through nose and exhaled through her mouth as she tried to calm her nerves.

There was a knock on the door and she could have snapped her own neck with the speed she reacted with. Her doctor came in the room and smiled at her, "Hi Shawn, how you doing?" She pulled up a chair and rolled in front of Shawn.

"I'm fine. But I still get a little nauseous every once in awhile." She forced a smile as she still tried to calm the nervousness rising from the pit of her stomach.

"Well, your test results came back, and I have great news," She smiled and handed over the papers in her lap, "You're pregnant."

Shawn all but jumped out of her seat, "WHAT!?" HEr eyes widened when she read the paper over and over again. "This can't be happening. This can't be happening. This can't be happening." She hunched over in her chair and rested her elbows on her knees as she buried her face in her hands.

Her doctor looked at her concerned and a little surprised, "So I take it that this wasn't planned." Shawn's head shot up from in her hands and she rubbed her temples, "It wasn't.. At all." This had to be a mistake, she couldn't be pregnant, there was absolutely no way. "This has to be some sort of mistake. I'm on birth control."

"Well it failed." her doctor said dead panned. "I had it tested three different times. There's no mistaking it... You're pregnant." Shawn massaged her temples in the hope that she was dreaming and she would open her eyes and she would be back at home in her apartment. And she would have tons of homework and a test to cram for. That wasn't the case, and she wasn't prepared for what her doctor said next. "Do you know who the father is?"

"Yes." She swallowed the lump in her throat and her heart sank. They weren't even speaking and now she had to tell Derek she was pregnant. She was definitely keeping the baby, so he was definitely going to be a father. "But I have no idea how I'm going to tell him." her eyes welled up with tears and the corners of her eyes stung as she tried to hold them back.

"You don't have to tell him yet. You have to take care of yourself, or you can terminate the pregnancy. But this is your decision."

Shawn looked up and wiped the single tear that escaped her eyes, "I'm keeping it." Maybe she would regret her decision later, but she didn't have the heart to get an abortion. She would be a single parent if she had to, but she would cross that bridge when she got to it. For the time being, she had to figure out how she would tell her parents...


	2. Chapter 2

Shawn stood in front of the mirror on her dresser and sighed. She had found out she was pregnant less than 2 hours ago and now she was thinking about how much she was going to change in the next 7 months. She stood parallel to the mirror and looked at her profile. She placed her cold hands on the small bump her stomach and grown into. Smiling, she started to think about what her baby would look like, would he or she look like her... or Derek? Her shoulders slumped and she sighed. "_How am I going to tell him? How am I going to tell anyone?"_

She looked down at her belly again as she pushed Derek out of her mind. Her tummy was about the size of a lemon and she couldn't fit in any of her jeans. She was nowhere near having to having to shop for maternity clothes, but she did have some shopping to do. She pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a tank top. She walked over to her closet and took a hoodie from a hanger. She walked out of her room and she slipped the hoodie on as she sat on her couch in the living room and took her phone out of her pocket.

She stared at the unlocked screen and her finger hovered over the contact icon. "_For the love of God Shawn! Just click on it." _Using all of her resolve, she pressed it and scrolled through the list. Finding the name she was looking for, she clicked dial and lifted the phone to her ear. "Mel, can you come over? It's really important."

* * *

Derek sat on his couch with his feet up on the coffee table and his phone in between his folded hands. He tried to work up the courage to dial Shawn's number and just talk to her the way they used to. Ever since that one night, they never even tweeted each other. It made him physically ill to think about it. He believed everything happened for a reason, so he refused to call it a mistake. He refused to accept that, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't dial her number. He opened his inbox and tried to type a message. But after staring at the screen, he shook his head and erased it.

He wanted to throw his phone and watch it shatter into a million pieces and watch it crumble to the floor just like he let his relationship with Shawn crumble away. He knew it was his fault. He couldn't even say her name without wanting to curl into a ball and disappear. Call it pathetic, but he missed her. He missed hearing her laugh at all his lame jokes, he missed the way she smiled and played with her thumbs when she was nervous, and what he missed more than anything? he missed the golden eyes that could look deep down to his soul.

"What are you doing?" Sarah, his girlfriend, asked. "You spaced out on me, and you've been staring at your phone for the past ten minutes."

"Oh, sorry." A sad smile graced his lips. He looked up at his T.V. and realized the end credits of the movie he supposed to he watching were rolling.

"Who are you thinking about?" the brunette frowned and sighed. She wasn't naive, she knew that he was thinking about the "friend" he was no longer speaking to.

"No one. I guess I'm just tired." His voice was soft and he sounding like he wanted to cry. But she knew he wasn't going to tell her what was actually bothering him, but she also knew he needed to. "We can talk about it ya know?"

He finally looked at her and smiled, "I'm just tired." He hoped she took the hint and decide to leave him to sulk in the comforting confines of his apartment. She leaned over and place a soft kiss on his lips before she got up and gathered her things and walked over to the door, "Go get some sleep. And call whoever it is you keep trying to call. See you later?"

He watched her leave and sat there watching the door wishing he would hear Shawn knock on the door. But that was wishful thinking, and he willed himself to accept that she wasn't coming to his door. He dragged himself to his room and pulled his shirt over his head before he pulled his bed covers back and got into bed. The sun was setting and he looked out his window and watched as it got dark outside. But the sunset brought back sad memories.

He and Shawn used to sit on the roof of the studio and watch the sunset together. Now he couldn't go on the roof without getting frustrated and mad at himself. But he would never be able to get over that unless he talked to her. He rolled onto his back and closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep, hoping he could clear his mind.

* * *

"YOU'RE WHAT? PLEASE tell me i didn't hear you say you were pregnant. Because I think that 's what i heard you say." Melissa took Shawn's hand in her own and looked at her, her eyes begging to hear her ears were deceiving her.

Shawn shook her head and wiped away the tears from her eyes. "Yeah, I know. I never thought I'd say it either." She inhaled and closed her eyes, "That's not even the craziest part."

"Please tell me you and Ryan aren't back together." Melissa eyed her and prepared to scold her even more. Shawn laughed a little, "No Mel, Ryan and I aren't together and he's not the father either."

"Well then, who is it?"

"It's Derek." Shawn closed her eyes and prepared herself for Melissa to freak out and start destroying her. That would have been easier to handle. But she felt Melissa let go of her hand. When she opened her eyes, she saw Melissa sitting back in the couch with her mouth open in the shape of an "o".

"Damn." Melissa looked over at her and her expression was one of shock and ran her hand over her face and she tossed her bangs back. She folded her legs so that they were crisscrossed

Shawn leaned back and sat Indian style and stuck her hands into the pocket in the front of her hoodie, "Yeah, I know."

"Have you told him?" Melissa asked softly as she turned her head.

Shawn shook her head and sighed, "I don't know how."

* * *

**A/N: Hey there. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, or even if you didnt, I would really appreciate a review :) Constructive criticism is always welcome and greatly valued.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I hope you don't hate me for the ending. But I promise the relationship will heal….Eventually… Oh, and how about some reviews? :) **

**ENJOYYY :D**

Shawn sat on her couch skimming through channels and eating peanut butter and oreos, a combo she had just recently started to enjoy, when she heard a knock on the door. Sticking the lid back on the jar and closing the cookie package, she dragged herself to the door. She stood on her tiptoes and looked through the peephole and saw a smiling Melissa on the other side, purse in hand. She opened the door and stared at Mel blankly. "I'm taking you out for lunch!" Mel grabbed her by the arm and pushed her out the door. Before she pulled the door shut, she grabbed Shawn's flip flops and handed them to her. "I brought some clothes for to wear, you can change in the car."

Shawn slowly and sleepily walked over to the elevator and waited for her, "What's wrong with what I have on now?"

"Shawn, really?" Melissa said deadpanned as she and Shawn stepped into the elevator. Shawn had been wearing sweatpants and oversized hoodies for the past 2 weeks and she was running out of clothes to wear. Not that it really mattered. She was 2 1/2 months pregnant, and nothing fit her properly anyway. "You're dressed like a victoria Secret hobo and when you do leave the confine of your apartment, people ask questions." Mel leaned over and pressed the lobby button and then looked back at Shawn, "You're going to have a baby, you're not dying."

After driving around aimlessly, they ended up just eating at the cheesecake factory because they got tired of looking around for somewhere else. They were seated by a window and they were given their drinks. Melissa looked at the clothes she had gotten Shawn and smiled, "That dress is very pretty on you. I'm surprised i guess your size right." It was a white shin length dress with pink water lilies on it. It hugged Shawn's body and made her look great, her protruding baby bump could be seen through it.

"It doesn't really cover anything. I look fat." Shawn looked down and frowned as she placed her hands over her stomach, "It's almost been three months and I still haven't told anyone."

"First of all, you're not fat. You're pregnant." Melissa said sternly. She and Shawn had been going back and about it for the past couple weeks and no matter how hard Melissa tried, she couldn't convince Shawn that she wasn't fat and that the weight gain in her mid-section was perfectly normal. Melissa leaned forward and rested her forearms on the table and sipped her iced tea. "You're going to have to tell someone. We're in public now, people are going to find out eventually."

"I know. But I don't wanna have to tell everyone what happened." Shawn forked her salad and pushed it around the plate as she rested her elbow on the table. "What am I supposed to say? 'My former dance partner knocked me up. But don't worry, he doesn't know'? No. I cant even tell my parents." Shawn rubbed her temples and groaned in frustration as she leaned against the back of the booth.

"Who cares!" Melissa yelled but quickly regretted it when the people around them started to stare. She leaned closer to the table and lowered her voice, "It has nothing to do with them. It's you… and it's Derek. And you should tell him, sooner rather than later." They became silent and Shawn thought about what she had said. But she wasn't given much time to think because their waiter came over and smiled at them.

"Hi, I'm Cora.. And I will be your server today." She smiled at them and took out her little notebook and a pen, "Are you ready to order?" Both Shawn and melissa nodded at the same time and Melissa gave her order before she handed over her menu while Shawn was still skimming hers. Cora looked at her and gave the fakest smile -they had been told to give to customers- and she and melissa waited for shawn to make up her mind. "And for you miss?"

"Hmm. Can I get a cheeseburger? Like a double- cheeseburger, with fries on the side?" Shawn used her hands to explain how big she wanted it. And Melissa watched her with one raised eyebrow. "Oh, and pickles. Extra pickles." Shawn concluded and Cora nodded as she walked away with the menus in her hand.

Melissa stared at Shawn and shook her head as she smiled at her, "ahhh, The food cravings."

"I know! before you came over, i was sitting in my living room eating oreos with peanut butter." Shawn laughed and Melissa made gave her a funny look, "I thought it would be good gross at first, but it's so good."

"When i was pregnant. I ate so much cheese fries, I can't eat it anymore." They laughed and Melissa shared more embarrassing pregnancy and baby stories. They laughed together, and it made Shawn excited yet nervous at the same time.

After lunch, they sat in the booth talking about everything Shawn would need to have in preparation for the baby. Melissa was just naming things off and she was taking notes, "You're going to need clothes, lots of onsies, socks and bibs. Diapers and baby wipes. you can never have too many diapers or wipes. You're also going to need a really big bag, it has to be able to carry multiple things, like wipes, diapers, bottles and baby formula. And you need, AND I STRESS, NEED to have an extra change of clothes in that bag."

Shawn looked up from her list and gave her a questioning look, "Why, exactly?"

"Baby throw up and poop explosions." Melissa said calmly and tried not to laugh as Shawn's face contorted in disgust.

"That's disgusting." Shawn laughed and Melissa nodded. Her face fell when she saw someone she wasn't ready to face. "He's here."

"Who's here?" Melissa looked around the restaurant and her eyes widened when she saw Derek and a leggy brunette walking behind him. "Wait, hold up. Who's that?"

"Oh, God! what is he doing here? And with her no less!" Shawn tried to look for anything to hide behind but it was of no use… They were being lead their way.

"Wait. Pause. How do you know her?" Melissa questioned. "And why do I get the feeling that you don't like her?"

"Because I don't." Shawn said through gritted teeth. Her voice was almost a low growl as she turned her body away from Derek and the woman. "That's Sarah, his ex- girlfriend. Or at least I thought they broke up. Don't you remember seeing her at the studio?" Shawn asked and Melissa shook her head no.

Shawn didn't have time to elaborate further because they were spotted when Derek and Sarah were seated at a table across from them. Shawn and Derek just stared at each other. He was shocked and Shawn was nervous and a little scared. After awkwardly getting up and walking over to Melissa and Shawn, Derek stood in front of their table and nervously scratched the back of his neck, "Hi, Shawn… Hey Mel."

Melissa gave him a small smile before she grabbed her purse and walked over to where Sarah was sitting, "How ya doing?"

* * *

Derek sat across from Shawn and they both looked as if the other person was someone come back to life. Neither of them knew what to say, and Shawn couldn't even look him in the eye. She blankly stared out of the window and watched as people watched up and down the sidewalk.

He looked at her nervously as his palms began to sweat and he swallowed the dry lump in his throat. Realizing she couldn't avoid this conversation, she figured she had to tell him what she had been hiding. She turned back to him and they stared at each other again. "Hi." was all she could muster. And they both chuckled a little.

"Long time no see." Derek said softly, "A lots changed since we last spoke."

"You have no idea." Shawn said without thinking and he gave her a curious look, "i have to tell you something. And it's really important, and I should have told you a while ago."

"What is it?" Derek was getting worried by her rambling, and he knew she only did so when she was nervous.

Shawn took a deep breath and looked up at him, "I- I'm pregnant… and it's yours."

Derek's eyes nearly popped out of his head. He couldnt breathe and it was like everything was in slow motion. He was waiting for her to start laughing and say "gotch!" but it never came and she stared at him with tears running from her eyes with a pained expression on her face.

Shawn got up from her chair and stood by him at the edge of the seat but he never looked up at her. he just stared at where she was had been previously sitting in. She let out a shaky breath and spoke softly, "I'm sorry. I should've never told you. I hope you and Sarah are happy together." She didn't give him any time to reply because she briskly walked out of the restaurant.

When Derek looked up, she was gone. He saw Melissa's look of sympathy through his foggy vision, but soon she followed behind Shawn. He turned his head back to the booth in front of him. But he couldn't unhear what Shawn had just told him. He hunched over and covered his face with his hands, wondering what the hell he was going to do.


	4. Chapter 4

**Drama, drama, drama! You'll love it though, I promise. Even though it'll frustrate the hell out of you.**

* * *

Terri Johnson had been planning this trip ever since Shawn had made the big move from Des Moines to L.A. But after almost 3 months, Shawn had grown distant. Terri hoped to surprise her daughter, so when she got to Shawn's apartment she frowned when she realized she wasn't there. After doing some cleaning up, she made dinner and relaxed on the couch and kicked her feet up.

after about an hour of watching T.v., she got a headache. She tried to ignore it, but the pulsing pain put pressure on her head and she couldn't' handle it any more. sighing, she got up from the couch and walked over to the bathroom and opened the mirrored cabinet above the sink. After looking around, she saw a bottle of what looked to be vitamins. She turned the bottle until she saw the label. "Prenatal vitamins?" She was a little confused at first, then she read it again. "Oh. My God…"

She heard someone in the living room so she grabbed the bottle and left the bathroom. She walked with her hands behind her back and went toward the living room. "Shawn?"

Shawn froze by the couch and she immediately wanted to evaporate into thin air. "Mom what are you doing here?"

"I came to see you," Terri walked around the back of the couch and sat down. She pulled the prenatal vitamin bottle from behind her back and placed it on the coffee table, "When were you planning on telling us?"

Shawn's mouth fell open. She had no idea what to say and she couldnt look her mom in the eye, "I—I can explain."

* * *

Derek and Mark sat in the living room skimming through channels when they stopped on the newest addition of TMZ. A photo of Shawn in her floral dress flashed across the screen and her belly was circled in all the pictures, highlighting her suspected pregnancy.

"Olympic gold medalist, Shawn johnson and DWts All-Star champion, Melissa Rycroft were spotted eating lunch together at the Cheesecake Factory at the Grove yesterday afternoon." As the voice came through the t.v Derek noticeably winced and Mark watched him curiously. The voice of Harvey Levin continued through the T.V, "Well Derek Hough and a guest showed up, and they seemed to sit together briefly before Shawn stormed off. And many eyewitnesses report that she was in tears."

Mark stared at Derek, wondering why he wasn't told that Derek and Shawn had seen each other. He opened his mouth to ask for an explanation but he closed his mouth when Harvey's voice continued through the T.V. "we were also told, by an informant, that Shawn is pregnant…..with a little Hough baby.." Derek quickly changed the channel, but it was too late, Mark had heard everything.

"Please… Please tell me that I didnt hear any of that." Mark almost begged for Derek to lie to him. But that wasn't what he got. Derek looked up at him and he looked to like he was struggling with the honest truth. mark sat down next to him, and they sat in silence. After the awkwardness died down, Mark decided to kill the silence, "is it true?"

"Y-yeah." Derek inhaled deeply and held it, trying to stop himself from breaking down. Yesterday, when he got home, he couldn't believe what Shawn told him. He and Sarah didn't speak and when she finally left him alone, he went to his room and sat on his bed with his hands over his face. He sat there for hours, hoping and praying that he was dreaming and when he opened his eyes Shawn and him would be close friends again. that didn't happen.: "I honestly have no idea what to do."

"How did this even happen?" Mark didn't even know that they had slept together.

"I think you can imagine how it happe-" He was cut off when Mark lifted his hand and signalled for him to stop.

"I don't need to know… I don't need the visuals." His face scrunched up with disgust and he shook his head. The room fell silent again and Mark sat there, trying to process all the information he had just heard "did harvey say informant?"

"Yeah." Derek's shoulders slouched and he tried to think of who could possibly betray his privacy like that. Mark scratched the back of his neck and then he thought of someone who would do something like that. Derek got the same thought and they shared a look, "You don't think she would do something like that, do you?"

"I don't know. Do you?" Mark raised an eyebrow and crossed his arm, "I mean, Melissa and Shawn are like best friends… She wouldn't do that to Shawn." Mark shook the thought away and then someone else popped into his head, If it wasn't Melissa, that left only one other person… Sarah.

"Well, who else would- No! Sarah wouldn't do that to me… She couldn't" Derek shook his head frantically..

"You may not want to believe it Derek, but you know that she can't stand Shawn. Ever since that Rumba, you started looking at Shawn the way you used to look at her."

"So now this is my fault?" Derek glared at Mark as his voice raised in volume.

"Well Der, it kinda is." Mark said sofly and Derek scoffed, "Im not saying it was intentional. I'm just telling you that you have to take responsibility for your own actions. and start sorting out the bullshit in your life." Mark got up and walked over to the door. Before he walked out, he looked at Derek, "This is between you and Shawn. So call her and fix it."

* * *

"Mom, please just hear me out." Shawn pleaded as her mom paced back and forth in the living room. She was rambling and yelling at the air.

"What did I do to deserve this? we tried to raise you to be an independent, intelligent young woman who didn't need anyone to tell you what to do!" Terri threw her hands up in the air and stared at her daughter, "How could you let this happen?"

"You think I wanted this to happen?!" Shawn shot up from the couch and yelled incredibly loud. "Do you think this is how I pictured starting my family? No it's not! God, mom! not everything is about you!" she sank back onto the couch and started to sob. Terri was too upset to try and comfort her, so she stormed off to the the guest bedroom. Leaving Shawn to sit alone and cry to herself.

Shawn felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. wiping the tears from her eyes and got her phone from her front pocket. Unlocking the screen and opening her inbox, she saw an unread text from an unknown number. Reading the text message, she thought, "What the hell?"

"Reality bites, doesn't it?"

* * *

**Come on you guys, leave me a review. Ya know you want to. Or PM me or something...**


	5. Chapter 5

**Not my best, but EH! I hope you like it anyway :)**

**Enjoy**

* * *

After Mark left Derek to think about what he had said, Sarah decided it would be a good idea to remind him that it was Valentines Day.. Derek had totally forgotten and let it slip his mind. That was until she ended up in his apartment building. She stood on her tiptoes and grabbed the spare key from above the doorframe and unlocked it.. When she walked through the door, she found Derek sleeping on the the recliner in his livingroom. She smirked and straddled his lap. She kissed his neck and he jumped from the seat, sending her flying from his lap and onto the floor. "What are you doing here?" Derek spat.

"What do you mean 'what am I doing here'?" Sarah questioned, sounding hurt. "I'm your girlfriend. It's Valentine's Day."

"Why did you tell the press about Shawn?" Derek wasn't going to play games with her. He was never one to beat around the bush. He crossed his arms across his chest. "I know it was you. You're the only other person I talked to."

"You have no proof!" She felt trapped. "Why are you doing this to me?"

"That.. Was all the proof I needed." Derek scoffed, "You just told the entire country she was pregnant! not only was it none of your business, but you should have thought about how this would impact her… And this relationship!" Derek walked away from her and she followed him into the kitchen. "Did you even care about how I'm feeling about this! I havent spoken to her in months and then I find out she's pregnant!.. With my kid!

She picked up a plate and tossed it, watching as it hit the wall and shattered into a million pieces. "Why do you care anyways?! She kept that from you for 2 and a half months! She can't be trusted!" at that point she just wanted to make him mad. "Besides, she's twenty-one, in college and pregnant! are you sure some random frat boy isnt her baby daddy?"

"How dare you?" Derek shot her the coldest glare he could possibly send in her direction. "How dare you even think she would do something like that! She's not like you were in college!" they were both clearly trying to hurt each other. But neither was getting the upperhand. "This isn't a movie Sarah. This is my life now… and sadly, I don't see you in it anymore."

"Fine!" she stormed over to the living room and grabbed her purse. But before she left, she walked over to the wall with all his pictures of him and his friends. She looked for the picture of him and Shawn at the beach. That picture was very special to him, and it symbolized the relationship they had shared. "Good riddance." Pulling it from the wall, she slammed it onto the floor and the glass from the frame shattered on the wooden floor.

Derek looked completely destroyed as he watched her walk away leave. He picked up the scratched and wrinkled picture and sat on his couch. He stared at it and smiled when the happy memories floated back to him. It was then that he realized Shawn was one of the most important people in his life, other than his family.

Family….

In less than 7 months, he would be a father. He was getting what he'd wanted for a very long time. Albeit in a very unorthodox way, but it was happening. He just had to get Shawn to speak to him. He pulled out his phone and dialed cell phone number, but after a few rings, he got her voicemail. Suddenly he got an idea.

* * *

Shawn wiped her eyes and turned on the Tv. Her eyes widened when she saw her picture on the TV. She was shocked to see her stomach circled and the heading: Shawn Johnson pregnant? Her mouth fell open and her heart sank. "No, no, no… How did they- He didn't…" She was fuming and smoke came from her ears. She wanted to cry, throw something, or better yet, punch Derek in the throat. "Okay. That's a little violent, but it was him."

She turned off the T.V. and went to the kitchen to get her jar of peanut butter and oreos. She sat at the kitchen counter and binged while she skimmed twitter and instagram. Everyone was commenting on the currents new and she wanted to curl up into a ball and disintegrate.

Her mom hadnt come out of her room and Shawn was sure she was sleeping. She then wondered where her dad was, and why he wasn't with her mom. Signing, she remembered that it was Valentines Day, and of course she didn't have one. Instead, she was at odds with someone she missed more than she wanted to admit. As she scooped peanut butter onto her oreo, she heard a knock on the front door. She over dramatically groaned and dragged herself to the front door and looked through the peephole. It was Derek "What do you want?" Her mouth was still filled with food and she honestly didn't care.

"I want to talk to you." Derek said weakly from the other side of the door, "I'm sure you know that everyone is talking about us."

"Yeah. No thanks to you!" She slammed her hands on the door in hopes that it would scare him and make him leave her alone. She didn't want to talk to him.

"Can you please open the door?" he begged, hoping she would hear the sincerity in his voice.

"NO! Go away!" Shawn hit the door again and barged over to her couch and sat down. She refused to let him in her apartment. And she sure as hell wouldnt let him back into her heart.

"I'm not leaving until you open this door." he slid down the door and leaned against it. He refused to leave. He was trying to apologize. He was literally begging for forgiveness. He would camp outside of his door.

"Well I hope you brought blankets, because you'll be sleeping out there!" She yelled from her seat while she crossed her arms and swung her feet up on the couch.

"Fine! don't talk to me!" Derek picked himself up off the floor and dusted himself off. "I'm sorry. I should have told you how happy I was. I guess I was scared. Just, don't hate me forever."

Shawn immediately felt guilty. She walked over to the door and opened it. "Der, i dont ha-" He wasn't there anymore and she frowned. But a basket was in his place. It had a bouquet of red roses and a jar of peanut butter and oreos and a little card. "Melissa told me about the cravings. Happy Valentine's Day." Shawn smiled to herself as she picked up the basket and walked back into her apartment.


	6. Chapter 6

"How could you not tell me?" Julianne paced back and forth, and every once in awhile she would stop and stare at him, cutting him off right before he could answer. "How could you not tell us. Derek, we had to find out from the tabloids! the tabloids!" Derek winced at the volume of her voice. He swore her eye was close to twitching. "Mom nearly had a heart attack."

"I meant to tell you guys, I really did." he leaned against the island counter in his kitchen and sighed, "I guess I just forgot."

"Forgot? Forgot?! Derek, how in all of tarnation do you forget to tell your family that you father a child?!" Julianne rubbed her temples and took a deep breath before she crossed her arms over her chest. "What does Sarah think about it?"

Derek's head shot up and he stared at her. He had completely forgotten about her and her little melt down from about a week ago. "Her opinion doesn't really matter anymore. Not that this was really any of her concern to begin with." Julianne's eyebrows raised and she looked at him like he had sprouted two heads and a tail. "We broke up Jules."

"What? Why?" She hopped up on the counter and waited patiently for him to tell her what happened.

"She told TMZ about Shawn behind our backs." His voice was soft, just above a whisper. Julianne's eyes went wide and she gasped, "That's not even the worst part. I found out by flipping through channels with Mark." Derek laughed and shook his head while Julianne watched him like he was insane. He cleared his throat and crossed his arms, "I guess I should have seen it coming. You know, she didn't talk to me the entire car ride home. And I guess I should have sensed something when I saw her surfing through Tumblr staring at pictures of Shawn and I. She just looked so mad, I guess she had a reason to be. But she never even asked how I was feeling. It was like she didn't even care.. like she was only thinking about how it made her look."

Julianne nodded slowly, taking in all he had said to her. After an awkward silence, Julianne looked at him, "well, have you talked to Shawn? I mean, this can't be easy for her."

"I sat outside of her apartment for almost an hour before I finally figured out what I wanted to say." He smiled as he remembered how nervous he got. For whatever reason, he liked knowing that she made him nervous. "When I finally worked up enough courage to knock, she didn't open the door. She just yelled at me through it."

Julianne broke out into a fit of giggles but he gave her the evil eye so she did her best to stifle them. "I don't mean to laugh, but…" she trailed off and broke off into a fit of hysterical laughter.

"It's not funny." he said deadpanned. He was trying so hard not to push her from the counter, but it was taking all of the will power he had. And he didn't know how long he would hold out. "I'm going to push you."

"Okay, I'll stop." She took a deep breath before she looked at him again. "When's her next ultrasound?"

"I think it's today." He shrugged, "I tried calling her but she didn't answer. She's probably still upset at me."

"With good reason." Julianne jumped from the counter and grabbed her purse, "Call her before it's too late." Julianne kissed his Cheek before she left. Derek stared at his phone and didn't know what to do. Did he know what he wanted to say?

* * *

Shawn plopped down on her couch and pulled out the little picture, and dvd from her bag. Tears welled in her eyes as she stared at them and an unfamiliar feeling came over her. She didn't know what it was. It definitely wasn't happiness.. Happiness didn't feel that weird. It wasnt guilt.. But for what ever reason, she felt like she was missing something.

She was..

Shawn felt incredibly guilty for not answering Derek's phone calls. He had gone out of his way to talk to her and apologize for the "TMZ" incident. He sat outside her apartment for only God knows how long, and she left him out there. Maybe she should have talked to him. Maybe she should have heard him out. "Oh, this is ridiculous?!" She grabbed her purse and put the picture and then DVD away.  
She made her way over to the elevator and waited impatiently for the doors to open. "Oh my God!" She banged her hand on the door, "COULD YOU BE ANY SLOWER?!" she huffed and the elevator doors opened.

After what seemed to be the longest elevator ride ever, Shawn made her way down to her car. After she climbed in and buckled herself in, she gripped onto the steering wheel. Taking a deep breath, she pulled out of the parking lot and desperately tried not to speed.

Her resolve lasted about 2 minutes and she sped down the road.

* * *

Derek laid sprawled out on the floor, staring up at the ceiling, in his living room. He had been laying there for hours, holding his phone close. He had been contemplating whether or not to call Shawn since his sister had left him. Maybe he was thinking too hard. He was probably making it a lot harder than it needed to be.

He felt absolutely pathetic, and the little voice in his head was telling him he was. He wanted to laugh, cry, and scream all at the same time. But then again, nothing about his situation was entertaining, at all. Here he was, a grown man, laying on the floor because he couldnt pick up the phone to call someone.

He was about to lift the phone to his ear, when there was a knock on the door. HE gingerly got up from the floor and walked over to the door and opened the door as a smiled spread across his lips, "Hi."

"Hi."


	7. Chapter 7

The afternoon sun glared on the blank T.V in Derek's awkwardly silent living room. Shawn had been sitting on his couch with him for about 30 minutes, but neither of them could find the words to string a sentence together. Every once in awhile Derek would look at her from the corner of his eye and smile. She was there.. In his apartment… Never in a million years did he think that she would be there again.

Neither did she…

Shawn's heart was racing, her palms were sweaty, and she was nauseous.. Maybe it was the morning sickness talking. "More like all day sickness" But she felt like she could just die where she sat. "This was a bad idea… what the hell was i thinking? Was I even thinking?" Now that she thought about it, she wasn't really thinking. She was in the moment. She was so conflicted when she left her apartment and now, she was even more conflicted. "I wonder if he would notice if I got up and left.." She looked at him and bit the corner of her lip, wondering.

"What if she just got right up and left?" Derek mindlessly wondered as he turned his head to face her. His eyes trailed down her body until his gaze landed on her protruding belly. The pregnancy had left her with an unmistakable glow. She looked so happy, yet there was something about they way her face was contorted that made her look like she was thinking about something. Before he could think about the consequences, he scooted closer to her and stared at her, "What are you thinking about?" He whispered.

She turned to him and looked surprised. Their eyes locked and they both got lost in each other's gaze. After a few minutes of staring at each other, Shawn's lips curved into a smile and she turned away. "I never thought I'd be here again."

Derek reluctantly turned away from her and looked around the room. "I know, It's weird." Shawn giggled, causing Derek to smile, "God, I've missed that." He said softly, quietly hoping she hadn't heard him. Too bad she did

Shawn turned away, smiling like an idiot. "I brought you something." she pulled her bag onto her lap and pulled out the little DVD case, handing it over to him.

He reluctantly took it from her and watched her curiously, waiting to see if she would give any indication of what it could be. "What is it?"

"Put it in the player." She smiled and leaned back into the couch as he did as she asked. After he turned on the tv and pressed play, he made is way over to the couch and sat next to her. His heart was racing and he was as nervous as he could have possibly been. "So what is i-" He was cut off by the thumping sound. He looked around, thinking he was the only one who heard the sound. "Do you hear that?" Shawn nodded her head and pointed to the T.V.

Derek's eyes went wide as he leaned forward. "Is that-"

"Yup." Shawn smiled at his awed expression. He looked so amazed at the life form on the tv screen.

The shape of a tiny baby could be seen and it was like watching a little miracle grow inside of someone. Really, that's what it was. The steady heartbeat pounded in their ears and Shawn watched Derek stare at the TV. He rested his elbows on his knees and his closed fists supported his chin. He watched the video like it was the most interesting and astounding thing in the world. So many different emotions ran through his body, happiness, wonder, amazement… then there was the regret he felt when he realized he wasnt there when Shawn needed him most. "I'm sorry." He looked back at her and she saw the sincerity in his eyes.

Shawn turned off the T.V and sat so that they were sitting side by side. They sat in silence, they didn't know what to say. "I'm sorry too." Derek looked down at her and shook his head. He opened his mouth to speak, but Shawn's voice cut him off. "I should have told you. You deserved to know."

"Yeah it would have been nice to know sooner. But you don't have to apologize. I should have been there. I shouldn't have let our friendship dwindle or fade because I can honestly say that you were one of the most important people in my life. And I was stupid to let you go." He let out a sigh of relief. He had been waiting to say that to her for the longest time and it felt good to say it. Even if it may have sounded like they had been more than friends.

Tears glistened in Shawn's eyes and all she could do was smile. She had been waiting for hear that from him for what seemed like years. She wasn't sure why she felt so relieved. It was like a weight was lifted from her shoulders and she felt like they could finally move on.

Derek wiped away the loose tears with his thumb and rubbed the side of her cheek. She smiled up at him again and closed her eyes, relishing the feel of his skin against hers. Derek stared at her relaxed face and continued to wipe away the tears that rolled down her cheeks.

He looked down at her lips and wondered what it would be like to kiss them. His curiosity got the best of him. He slowly leaned forward until his face was only centimeters away from hers. He was about to close his eyes when Shawn's shot open. But he didn't move away, and neither did she. He searched her gaze for any indication that she didn't want the same thing as he did, but he didn't find it. Shawn closed her eyes and anxiously waited to feel Derek's lips on hers.

Derek closed his eyes and his lips grazed against Shawn's for only a millisecond before they were rudely interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat, "WHAT IS SHE DOING HERE?"


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: i don't really like this chapter, but it's whatever. I hope you like it anyway. :)**

**ENJOYYY :DDD**

* * *

Derek dropped his hands to his side and Shawn dramatically sighed. He looked over to the doorway and the Shawn saw the unmistakable frown appear on his face, "What are you doing here?"

Shawn was too afraid to turn and face the door. There was no way Derek was talking to that woman again. And there was definitely no way that she had a key to Derek apartment. "Please God, dont let it be her." she forced herself to turn around, and she hated what she saw when she turned around.

"Shawn."

"Satan.. or is it Sarah? I forget." Shawn smirked and Sarah squinted her eyes and bore holes into her with her angry gaze. If looks could kill, Shawn would have been six feet under. Derek tried not to laugh, but it was too hard to resist.

Sarah shifted her gaze back to Derek but she smirked to herself. "I'm gone for a week and you've already found my replacement?" Derek noticeably winced and Shawn looked up at him, a question in her eyes. But she looked at Sarah and creased her eyebrows. "Yup, you're my replacement Shawnie."

"Sarah, you need to go." Derek cut in , his voice was intense and there was a resonant anger that could be felt radiating from him. He looked at Shawn and shook his head, silently telling her that Sarah was lying to her. Shawn gave him a small smile and nodded to him.

They both watched as Sarah made her way over to them and she stopped in front of them. "Derek didn't tell you did he?" Shawn raised an eyebrow and waited for an explanation. "He told the press."

"What?" Shawn immediately stepped away from them but tripped on the edge the carpet rug, causing her to stumble. Before she could fall, Derek grabbed her by the waist and steady her. "You're not even going to let me explain?"

"Yes, Derek please explain how you betrayed your friend again.." Sarah laughed and sat down on the couch and watched Derek become flustered.

"I don't want to hear this." Shawn tried to wriggle from his grasp but he wouldn't let her go.

"Let me explain." Derek closed his eyes and tried to gather his thoughts. "It wasn't me."

"Why is she still here?" Sarah felt like a teenager watching a web of deceit she had spun, slowly disintegrate before her. As weird as it was, she felt helpless. And oddly, she felt like she was helping them fix their relationship. "_Why isn't this working?" _She then realized she could just upgrade her lie.

"Who was it then?" Shawn placed her hands on her hips and squinted her eyes.

"Me." Sarah watched as they both turned their heads to watch her. "I did it. But Derek already knew that?" Derek was in shock. He didn't expect her to tell on herself, especially when she was just blaming him. Shawn on the other hand, was angry. She wanted to attack, but Derek still had his arm wrapped securely around her waist and she honestly didn't feel like fighting him. So instead she just choked her in her mind. "But there is something I didn't tell you… I'm pregnant too."

Shawn's eyes widened and she felt like crying. But she held it together. Derek wanted to faint. "I'm sorry I don't think I heard you correctly."

Instead of answering him, Sarah got up and walked over to the door. Sending a final wink, she left, leaving Shawn and Derek alone. Derek collapsed onto the couch and slapped a pillow over his face. He really had no idea how anything could get worse for him. two women… two babies. Great.

Shawn looked at him then over at the door. Every morsel of mind power she had was screaming at her telling her to leave. And she probably should have listened to her conscience. But she didn't. She sat next to him but she didn't know what to say. She felt like there was still time for her to out out of the front door, but she knew he needed someone to stay with him. And for whatever reason, she felt bad for him. "I'm assuming you didn't know that she was pregnant."

"What gave me away?" Derek said sarcastically as his head shot up from his pillow. Shawn giggled, but she cut herself off and her expression mocked seriousness, "Maybe it was the way your grip around me loosened, or the way your eyes widened and the slight twitch in your left eye, and finally, maybe you gave yourself away when your knees buckled underneath you when you sat down."

"Maybe." Derek shrugged his shoulders and he chuckled in a seemingly humorless situation. He collapsed onto the couch cushions and sprawled out on the empty space, hanging his legs over the armrest of the love-seat. "i'm surprised you're still here."

"Eh, i don't believe her." Shawn laid down and place her head down next to his. They were laying with their bodies going in the opposite directions and only their head were together. "I mean, she lied before, and ruined your flooring, what would stop her from lying about this?"

"Good point." Derek turned his head and their faces were only centimeters apart.

"Well, what are you going to do then? She could lie to everyone and that wouldn't look too good for you." Shawn ignored the little distant between them. "I already did eno-" she was cut off when Derek randomly connected his lips to hers. And without any hesitation she kissed him back. It was a little awkward, because of their positions, but it felt so right at the same time.

After their need for air became more prominent, Derek pulled away and smiled as Shawn opened her eyes and tried to collect her thoughts, "I don't know what to say."

He brushed her hair out of her face and spoke softly, "Then don't"


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I started this last night, so it anything doesn't make sense… midnight does that to my writing. Anyways, I like it. And I hope you do to. But I think you will, since there is a hint of fluffiness to this chapter.**

**I said ****_hint._**

**ENJOYYYY :D**

* * *

Shawn smiled to herself as she stared up at the ceiling of Derek's living room. For the past couple months, they had been spending time with each other, making up for lost time. They were healing. She yawned and tried to stretch but she was constricted by an arm resting over her hip. She smiled again when she saw Derek sleeping next to her. Even though he looked like he was about to fall off the couch, there was a faint smile on his face and he looked peaceful. Shawn didn't have the heart to wake him. So she moved over on the couch and gently pulled him over.

He stirred a little and secured his arm around her before he fell back asleep. She readjusted the pillow under the side of her stomach and snuggled up into Derek's chest. In his arms she felt secure. She fit perfectly I the crook of his neck, and the comforting warmth of his embrace made her relax. There was no other place she would rather be.

She inhaled his scent and sighed softly –she loved the way he smelt– and kissed his neck. Surprisingly, he only stirred and relaxed again. She slid her arm through the gap between his waist and his arm and rested her arm on his back. After she got comfortable she started to think. She wondered how her life had made such a drastic turn. Less than 7 months ago, she was leaving that same apartment on the brink of tears because she had made a drunken mistake. And now she was melting into the embrace of the man she thought she would resent forever. But in an odd way, she was happy it happened. Because they were closer than had ever been. They were having a baby. A little girl.

Shawn smiled when she remembered the the day she and Derek found out she was pregnant with a little baby girl. Derek joked about having twins, and it secretly terrified her. She remembered watching the happiness wash over his face when he watched the monitor and the way he squeezed and kissed her hand. In that moment, she remembered coming to realization of being in love with him.

She hadn't told him yet out of fear. She didn't want to rush him into anything. And she definitely didn't want to make him feel like he had to stay with her. Not that he would be the one leaving. As of a month ago, she was living with him. And not as a roommate, but as a partner. The thought alone made her giddy. But there was also a feeling of uneasiness the unnerved her.

She thought back to what Sarah had told them. After 4 months of a so called pregnancy, Sarah had seemed to disappear. And Shawn liked it that way. She was finally getting the life she and Derek deserved and she'd be dammed if Sarah took that away from them. There was absolutely no way she would allow it. She was happy and Derek was finally at peace with the drastic change in his life.

Her parents? Not so much. Her mom still wasn't talking to her and her dad hadn't even tried to contact her. Derek's family was more than happy and she was sure they relieved that she and Derek had finally put there problems to rest.

The media however, wasn't portraying her in a good way. And no matter how many times Derek, Julianne, Mark, Sabrina, Melissa, or anyone in the gymnastics community defended her, Shawn was portrayed as a home wrecker. Iowa's golden girl was a now shunned. No one tried to understand what they were going through. She was branded, and passed off as something she wasn't. She and Derek couldn't walk down the street without someone sneering at her. There were multiple times where she had to talk Derek out of arguing with a pop–cultured "fan". They were so busy sticking their noses into something that didn't concern them, they had managed to take away some of her enthusiasm for her impending motherhood.

But Shawn also had her supporters that stuck with her through thick and thin. Friends from college and her following on twitter. They helped her deal with the overbearing haters by leaving encouraging messages for her on time line and someone had gone so far as pm her a bible verse every morning. Derek thought it was creepy but she thought it was sweet and thoughtful. Then he would remind her that he was sweet and thoughtful, and adding a wink for good measure.

She smiled against Derek's neck and looked up at him. After about another ten minutes of watching him sleep, she started rubbing circles on his back causing him to stir. "wakey wakey."

"five more minutes." Derek whined and buried his face in her blonde tresses. Shawn laughed and kissed his cheek, "it's half passed noon. We have to get up." Derek shook his head, "huh–uh."

"you promised me we would go pick out furniture for the nursery." Shawn traced her thumb over his jaw and pulled his face toward hers, connecting their lips in a quick kiss, "if we don't go today, we never will." Derek huffed and wiped an eyelash from her cheek, "can't we just stay home and watch movies?" He smiled hopefully and kissed the tip of her nose.

"We did that yesterday. That's why we're laying on this couch." she reminded him. Derek groaned defiantly and Shawn just rolled her eyes at him. "fine." he sat up and stood to his feet and helped her off the couch. "I still don't want to go today."

She smiled, "awww, that's cute. You thought you had a choice." Derek chuckled, "just go get dressed." he watched as she waddled to their room and shook his head when she disappeared around the corner. He made his way to the bathroom and jumped in the shower. He heard the door open and he stuck his head out from behind shower curtain only to see Shawn had just finished brushing her teeth and was rummaging through her make up bag, apparently looking for something.

She had her hair up in a neat bun and her face was bare minus a thin layer mascara and lip gloss she had delicately applied to her face. She wore a long dress with different shades of blue that faded together. She looked beautiful yet comfortable and she had a natural glow. "are you going to stare at me or are you going to get out of the shower?" she joked. Derek shook himself back to coherence and cut off the water, "can you pass my towel?" without a word, she did as he asked. She smiled at him before she walked out of the bathroom, leaving the door open. Derek stepped out of the shower and smiled, "she will be the death of me."

"I heard that…. "


	10. Chapter 10

"How about this one?" Derek sat in a rocking chair and started to rock back and forth. Shawn studied it, "I don't know. I like the white, but I'm not sure it goes well with the shade of pink you painted the nursery or the furniture we pick out already." Derek frowned right before he got up and sat in another one. "How about this one?"

"hmmm… " her face contorted with thought as she examined the big chair constructed from cherry wood. She watched as Derek got comfortable against the soft cushions on the chair and relaxed."is it comfortable?" Derek patted his lap and smiled, "come see for yourself."

Shawn playfully rolled her eyes as she walked over to him. Derek helped her sit by holding the chair steady and holding her hand, "nice right?" she giggled, "Der, I'm sitting on your lap, not the chair itself." he smiled and kissed her cheek, "it's nice right?"

"You're such a dork." she giggled again. Derek laughed and placed his arms around her and rested his hands on her belly as he began to rock the chair back and forth. Shawn sighed as she relaxed into his embrace.

Derek kissed the side of her neck before her rested his chin on her shoulder. They sat in silence just enjoying the warm feeling in their hearts because they were together. Derek stopped when he felt a kick against his hand. "was it just me, or did she just kick?!"

"Nope, she's a hyper one." she smiled when she saw the smile on Derek's face. He was at work when she kicked for the first time, and he never got the chance to feel it because she was busy with his career.

Shawn smiled through the slight pain because of the sheer joy on his face. He looked so happy, and she would do anything to keep that smile on his face. "you should count them. Dr. Houston told me to count every time she kicks for the day. Monday I got to about 7."

Derek mentally counted for another 30 seconds before Shawn remembered she had things to do, "remind me to call that breastfeeding class later." but before he could answer, a worker came up to them, "we just got a bunch of strollers and carriers today. I could show you if you are interested." Shawn slowly nodded and she and Derek stood and followed behind her.

* * *

Shawn smiled as she and Derek walked to their car, they had ended up getting all the last minute things they needed and she was content. The furniture would be coming sometime next week and all she and Derek would have to do is figure out how it would be arranged. If only her entire pregnancy were that easy.

Derek opened the door for her and helped her get in the car. He closed the door and walked around the car before he slid in and turned on the engine. He pulled out of the parking lot and headed down the street. "are you hungry?" Derek brought her attention to himself by grabbing her hand and rubbing his thumbs across her knuckles.

"Starved." Shawn groaned and placed her hand under her stomach. Derek looked worried but she quickly explained the pain, "she just kicked me really hard just now." she smiled when Derek relaxed a bit and released some of the tension he had involuntarily squeezed her hand with. She looked out the window looking for a place to eat. "how about we stop at subway before we head home?"

"sounds good to me." Derek pressed on the gas and headed down the street before he turned into the parking lot. After he parked the car, he looked at Shawn, "The usual?" she nodded for confirmation, "I'm not staying in the car though, I have to pee." Derek laughed while he unlocked the car and got out. He help her out of the car before she rushed to the bathroom.

He finished ordering and paying before she was done, so he headed back out to the car to wait for her. But she was taking longer than usual.

* * *

Shawn walked out of the stall and headed over to the sink to wash her hands. She turned on the faucet and being the germiphobe she had recently become, she got extra soap. As she scrubbed her hands, she felt someone watching her. She looked up and saw a woman, a little bit older than she was, look away from her.

She got the feeling again and got the feeling again. She looked up and met the woman's gaze, "can I help you with something?" Shawn's intolerance seeped into her words as she dried her hands. "If you're going to make a snide remark, you can keep it."

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to bother you." the young woman seemed to be looking for the right words. "I didn't know how to approach you, and I'm sorry of I made you uncomfortable." she rushed her words and Shawn immediately felt guilty for snapping at her, "no, I'm sorry. I just have a lot going on right now." she didn't know why she needed to explain that, but she had always been a people pleaser. And she felt bad.

"I understand. " she pulled out a little notebook she had and smiled,"would you mind signing this for me?" Shawn shook her head. She quickly scribbled her signature onto a blank page and handed it back to her. "it was nice meeting you. I have to go, my hus–boyfriend is waiting for me."

Shawn walked as quickly as her legs could carry her. She cursed herself for almost say the word husband instead of Boyfriend. It was embarrassing but Shawn didn't think the young woman had caught it.

Shawn walked briskly out of the restaurant and tried to get back to Derek's car. But she was stopped by paparazzi, "do you guys ever go home?"

The man smirked but he almost stumbled when Shawn kept walking forward. But he composed himself and followed behind her. "so how's the baby?" Shawn climbed into the car and closed the door but the window was down. "as you can see, we're fine."

"not that one." the man smirked at the confused looks on their faces, "looks like Derek didn't tell you. His ex is pregnant."


	11. Chapter 11

Shawn sat on the couch sipping orange juice as she watched Derek pace back and forth. She had been trying to calm him down for about an hour since they had gotten home. But after failing to get him to sit down and just breathe, she gave up and ate her sandwich. She crinkled up the parchment paper and stuffed it into the plastic bag. Leaning back, she put her feet on the couch and held the bottom of her belly and sighed. "Der, Babe, can you just sit down please? You're giving me a headache." Either he was ignoring her, or he just hadn't heard her.

He continued to run his hands to his hair as he walked the length of the couch. He couldnt believe he just thought it was an empty threat. He just thought Sarah was just trying to hurt him, or worse, trying to get him to stay. But he never for once thought she would keep something like that away from him. How could she be so cruel and thoughtless? He never thought the Sarah he knew would do something like that to him. Then again, she clearly wasnt the same person.

He stopped and for a the first time since they had gotten back home, he finally made eye contact with Shawn. She smiled at him and he smiled back and they broke eye contact. He leaned against the back of the couch and crossed his arms. "What am I going to do?" Without a word, shawn pulled him over the edge of the couch. "I hope you meant 'What are we going to do'. I'm not with you, and I'm not going anywhere."

Derek smiled at her, "Have I told you how amazing you are?" Shawn shrugged, "Well, not for today." Shawn giggled and ran her hand through his hair. "Well, you're ama-" He didn't get the chance to finish his sentence because Shawn grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and connected her lips to his. It started out slow and tentative with an underlying sweetness only Shawn could kiss him with, but it soon escalated to something hungry and heated until hands were wandering. The need for air broke them apart and they kept their eyes closed as they collected themselves.

Derek looked at Shawn's protruding belly and sighed, "You ittle missy, are making me sexually frustrated." Shawn laughed at him as she swatted him on the arm then rubbed her stomach, "It's okay, daddy didn't mean that" She looked back up at him and gave him a stern look, "Apologize."

"I'm sorry." He leaned forward and kissed the top of her stomach. After a lengthy silence he looked at her with confusion in his eyes, "So we're just going to ignore this?" Shawn looked at him with the same look in her eye, "What do you mean by 'this'?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about Shawn." Derek wanted to talk about it because clearly it wasn't going away and neither was sarah. She was silently plaguing their new life together and he couldn't let her destroy everything he had been building, with Shawn, for the past several months. He still thought it sounded saying he was with Shawn, but a good weird. it felt long past overdue. "Shawn, we cant keep avoiding her. well at least i cant"

"and what does that mean?!" Shawn spat. Was he trying to say Sarah didn't affect her? "What are you trying to say here, because I dont think I know where you're going with this." She crossed her arms as she watched him try and look for words that would land him on the couch for the night. "All I'm trying to say is; you don't have to deal with it everyday." He winced as the word left his lips and the look on Shawn's face became harsher.

"And what do I do all day? Sit on my ass and knit?!" If looks could kill, he would be 6 feet under and someone would be butchering the lyrics to amazing grace. He wasn't making the situation any better for himself but Shawn was having fun thinking about all the ways she would punish him later.

Derek ran his hands through his hair and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees while he entwined his fingers. "I didn't mean it like that. I just dont think you realize the way this affects my life sometimes." That was the final nail in the coffin. He had definitely sealed his fate.

Shawn laughed dryly and shook her head as she walked off to their bedroom. "Maybe I'll think about it when I'm sleeping alone tonight in bed." Derek's shoulders drooped while he realized his fate, "Oh joy."

"Good Niiight" Shawn chimed as she closed the bedroom doors, leaving him alone and frustrated, "I am such an idiot."

* * *

"So is there a reason you're drowning your soul in booze?" Mark inquired as Derek downed another shot of hard vodka, something he had never drank until then. "Because my wife is mad at me." Mark looked at him and smirked, "Your wife?" he chimed sarcastically and with a slight accent. "When did you get married?"

Derek lifted his head from the bar and scratched his head, "Did I say wife? I meant girlfriend. I said that didn't i?" He pushed his shot glass forward on the counter and a tall redhead wordlessly filled the glass. After about 2 hours, she knew the drill. Mark ordered a sprite-knowing he was the designated driver - He made himself comfortable on the barstool, "You know, I never heard you mistake girlfriend for wife when you were with Sarah."

"That's because I never said it." Derek threw his head back and drank his shot. His face contorted and he smacked his lips as the cold liquid burned his throat. "We didn't always get along."

"My how that bit you in the ass." Mark laughed until he nearly choked on his sprite. "Who knew she'd turn out to be some vindictive little demon… Oh that's right, I did." Derek rolled his eyes, "As I recall, you invited us on a trip to aspen." his voice slurred as he cracked his knuckles

"Ecch! wrong! I invited you. Not the Bride of Chucky." Mark laughed at his own joke and the bartender looked at him as if her were insane. Derek folded his arms on the bar counter and buried his head. He wanted to just disappear, or go home to Shawn. That would be better.

"Alright, lets get you home before I literally have to carry you out of here."

* * *

Derek fumbled with the keys before they fell to the floor. He lifted his head back and groaned loudly as he picked them up from the floor and found the right key. After seconds of fiddling with the key, he unlocked and stumbled through the door. He shuffled into the foyer and past the living room.

As he stumbled through the apartment in complete darkness, he stubbed his toe against something hard causing him to yell out in pain, "Owww! FUCKKKK!" He lifted his foot off the ground and started to hop on one foot like someone in a cartoon, "Shi- Ahh!" he fell over onto the wooden floor.

He laughed as he laid sprawled off in the floor. Clearly his drunken state took his balance and his common sense away. He got up from the floor and nearly slipped again as he almost tumbled to the floor again. He smoothed out his shirt before he pushed the his double bedroom doors, "i knew these would make me feel like a king some day."

He stripped out of his clothes, leaving a trail of shoes and clothing as he walked toward the bed. He smiled when he saw Romie curled up next to Shawn, "huh,_ Jules must have dropped him off earlier_." He pulled back the covers but paused when Shawn started to shift, "Der? Did you just get back."

"Yes," He plopped down and tried to wrapped his arms around her but she pulled away and scooted closer to Romie, who had surprisingly stayed asleep. Derek looked at her and scoot his head, "Really Babe, the dog, over moi?" the drunken slur was apparent in his voice, but she hadn't noticed.

"Yes, i'm still mad at you." Shawn adjusted the pillow under her belly and got comfortable, "Be happy I'm not making you leave." Derek sighed and turned over onto his back.

After a couple of staring up at the ceiling and sobering up, Derek looked at the clock on the bedside drawer and read the time, _"4 A.M, great."_ He had been tossing back and forth for hours and he was tired but he couldnt sleep. He was in the same bed as Shawn, but she wasn't in his arms.. He just wanted to forget about their little tiff, but clearly she wasn't letting that happen. "This is ridiculous… she's sleeping."

Derek silently scooted closer to her wrapped his arms around her while he buried his face in her hair and inhaled the scent of her shampoo. Shawn stirred but scooted closer to him, closing the gap between them, "I told you I'm still mad at you." she whispered and Derek chuckled softly, "go back to sleep."

Shawn sighed and entwined their fingers over her belly. Derek smiled kissed her shoulder before he laid his head down on his pillow. Shawn yawned and closed her eyes, "Good night Der, I love you."

"Good Ni- wait, did she just that?" She probably wouldnt remember when the woke up in the morning, but he would. He smiled and kissed her cheek, "I love you too." He allowed himself to fall asleep, finally letting himself forget about his problems.


	12. Chapter 12

Derek woke up late in the afternoon in an empty bed. Shawn wasn't there and her side of the bed felt cold, like she had been gone for a while. He rolled over onto his back and smiled. The previous night, Shawn told him she loved him and he knew he felt the same way. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before he yawned. When he opened his eyes, he started to worry,_ "What if she doesn't remember?She'll remember."_ He rolled over again and swung his feet off the floor and wiggled his toes and cracked his knuckles before he sleepily stumbled across the room and into the bathroom. He quickly brushed his teeth and washed his face before he jumped into the a long shower full of thinking and life examination, he got out and threw on some random clothing. As he headed out the room, he grabbed his phone and shoved it into his baggy pocket.

He walked down the hallway and headed to the kitchen, making a beeline for the refrigerator. He rubbed his hands together with a mischievous grin on his face. His expression changed when he saw a stocked but seemingly empty fridge in front of closed the door and sighed. He walked to the pantry and scanned the various snacks on the top shelf when he noticed that they were all health snacks. Pushing them aside, he reached for a big bag of chips in the back when he felt his phone vibrated in his quickly grabbed the chips and pulled his phone from his pocket and flipped it right side up. Expecting to see a text from Shawn, it was from the last person he wanted to talk to. Sarah. "we need to talk." after he read the text, he scoffed and sat on a bar stool around the island counter.

He unclipped the magnet holding the seal on the chip bag closed and dug his hand into bag. He picked up his phone as he shoveled the broken Doritos into his mouth. He stared the screen and thought carefully about what he should reply with. Before he could text her back, he heard someone walk into the apartment, "Babe, I'm home! Where are you?" He smiled when he heard Shawn's cheerful voice yelling at him, "I'm in the kitchen!"

After a few seconds Shawn waddled into the kitchen, with Romie following behind her, and moved toward him. She leaned in to give him a quick she pulled away she stuck her hand in the chip bag and smiled, "You smell like Doritos." Derek rolled his eyes, "well hello to you too."

Shawn giggled and walked over to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water. "Did you just wake up?" Derek nodded and put his phone on the counter. "What have you been up to today?"

"I turned in some homework I had, then I took Romie to go get groomed then I went to eat lunch with Melissa and Sabrina, then I went to the breastfeeding class I told you about yesterday then I picked Romie up and here we are." she took a sip of her water and went to close the pantry door, "Have any plans for today?"

Derek pet Romie and watched as he ran off somewhere. "ummm… I actually wanted to tell you something." he leaned his elbows on the counter and waited for her to respond but she simply nodded a little. "Sarah texted me."

"and?" she crossed her arms and watched him. Derek ran his hand through his short hair and sighed, "She wants to meet up with me so we can talk."

"You're joking right?" when he said nothing to confirm what she wanted him to say, she gripped her water bottle. "I don't understand why she won't just go away. And why won't you just tell her to screw off!"

Derek sighed softly knowing they were going to argue about it again. But he brought it upon himself. "I'm not going to just let it go."

"why not?"

"Because I need closer. "Derek closed his eyes and placed his forehead on the cold marble counter top. Shawn scoffed and shook her head,"Derek, she's a liar! How much more closer do you need?!"

"as I recall, you weren't exactly the most forthcoming when it came to talking to me either. You lied too. " Derek yelled but she simply stood still, hurt. She couldn't believe he just said that to her. "You know what– Do whatever the hell you want."

Derek hung his head as she past by him. He pulled his phone from his pocket and replied to Sarah's text. "I'll meet you in an hour."

* * *

Derek walked to the bed room doors and knocked on them. "Shawn? Shawn? Baaaaabe?" she didn't answer the door so he opened the door and

walked in. "Are you sleeping?" he plopped down onto the bed and propped himself on his elbows.

"No, I'm mad at you." she pouted and turned away from him causing him to chuckle, "Again?"

"yes. But it's your own fault." she rolled onto her back and playfully scowled, "Don't go see her. Stay with me." Derek smiled and brushed a loose strand from her face and looked at her sadly, "I just want to talk to her. Just trust me."

"I do. I love you and I trust you. It's her I don't trust." she entwined their fingers and gripped his hand angrily. But he smiled at her. She looked at him confused, "what?"

"You said that you love me."he grinned and Shawn looked him with a raised eyebrow. "Yeah, and? Didn't I tell you that last night?"

"Yeah." he nodded, "I just thought you didn't remember." she laughed and held her stomach. "who forgets something like that?"

He shrugged and chuckled "You sometimes have pregnancy brain, add that to the fact that you were half sleeping half awake,i was sure that you forgot." he looked at the clock and jumped from the bed, "Oh hell, I'm going to be late!"

"I don't like her, so I don't care if she has to wait." Shawn stuck out her tongue and crossed her arms like a defiant child. Derek laughed and kissed her between words. "you. Are. Too. Much" I started out the door when he turned back and headed toward her, "I almost forgot."

"Forgot what?" she looked confused but he smiled. "I forgot to say it back."

"I love you. " Shawn smiled at his words as he leaned in to kiss her again. When they broke apart she looked at him again,."Aren't you going to be late?"

"she can wait a couple minutes."


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Here it is :) Try not to hate me too much**

**ENJOYYYY :D**

* * *

Derek sat in Starbucks and stirred his coffee as he waited for Sarah to show up. He didnt have a inkling of a reason for waiting for her. He had been there for almost 45 minutes, and he hadn't moved from his seat because he knew she was never on time for anything. He sighed and sipped his coffee when he noticed the paparazzi beginning to pile up outside, he thought it was funny that they didn't give any of his various career routes as much attention. But when his personal life turned into a soap opera they were all over it.

He shifted uncomfortably when he saw them stand by the glass window and take pictures of him like he was some zoo animal, or science experiment. He waved at them with a fake smile plastered on his face, but on the inside he was swearing at them in every language including gibberish. He wanted to flip them the bird but that would be frowned upon, so he refrained. He saw them turned around when a very pregnant Sarah, got out of her car. He watched her pose for them and smile with them like they were a group of friends just catching up. He wondered where the sweet family friend he used to know had gone, because the Sarah he knew was no longer there.

Sarah walked into the Starbucks and walked over to him. He didn't even bother to get up and greet, he just watched her slid into the booth and smile at him. He refrained from smiling back and he sat back in the cushioning of the booth, "This is not a date, or anything like that. I'm here to talk about your apparent pregnancy." Sarah smirked at and placed her hands on her stomach, "It's a boy, you know. He's going to be just like you and we can raise him together."

"Did you hear what I just said?" he raised his eyebrow and watched her quizzically, "We aren't getting back together, I have Shawn. I _love _ Shawn." Sarah tucked her hands under her belly and smirked, "But you could leave her. You dont _have _to stay you know." Derek shook his head and looked up the ceiling, "This isn't going anywhere."

"Neither am I."

* * *

Shawn groaned and put down her oreo when she heard a knock on the front door. She gingerly got up and opened it and continued to chew the oreos in her mouth. The delivery man looked down at her and smiled as he handed her a pad with the delivery information on it, "I have baby furniture for a Shawn and Derek Hough." Shawn smiled when he assumed her last name what Hough, but she figure that she should correct him, "Johnson. Shawn Johnson. " She handed him the pad back with her signature on it. He gladly took it and smiled at her, "My guys will be right up with your furniture."

"I'll leave the door open." Shawn turned on her heel and walked back into the living room. She plopped down onto the couch and looked down. She smiled when she noticed that she couldnt see her feet. She knew lots of mothers got upset when they gained weight but not her. She marveled at the thought of life growing inside of her because i was exciting. But it came with certain problems… She had to pee, all the time. She got up from the couch and walked into the bathroom off the kitchen and closed the door behind her.

When she was done, the movers were walking into the apartment and they placed the crib down. "Where are we putting this?" Shawn motioned toward the nursery and lead them to the spacious, pink room. As they entered she pointed toward the nook in the wall underneath a skylight window. That skylight was one of the perks that came with being on the top floor.

The men wordlessly obeyed her orders and went back downstairs to the truck to get more stuff. Shawn walked toward the crib and ran her hand along the wooden railing as she sighed. She turned around just in time to see the men walking back in with a matching dresser. She wordlessly pointed them to where she wanted it. They placed it down and disappeared. One man walked in with the rocking chair and placed it close to the bed. Shawn walked over to it and sat down. She started to rock back and forth and watched as the last of the furniture was brought into the room.

Shawn smiled as they signaled good bye and left. She looked around the finished nursery and continued to rock in the chair. She got up and walked over to the closet, she slid the door open and grabbed the diapers and changing supplies. She went over to the changing table and opened the cupboard, she placed the thing on the shelf neatly and re-closed the door. She went back to the closet and grabbed the mattress for the crib and the sheets. After she made the bed, she was satified and left the room.

* * *

Derek pulled out from the Starbucks parking lot, he was absolutely furious. You could say the rest of the meeting with Sarah hadn't gone well and she kept up the overbearing I want you back gimmick going the entire time. She was being ridiculous, claiming that she was still in love with him, and she knew he still wanted to be with her.

He moved down the street, not caring about the speed limit. he just wanted to get back home. He saw the light was changing, so he sped to catch it. That was his mistake. As he sped down the street, he didnt notice a u-haul moving truck making a turn. He tried to stop but he couldnt, and ended up on a collision course with the semi truck. After seeing his life flash before his eyes, everything went black.

* * *

Shawn felt her phone vibrating in the front pocket of her hoodie. She turned down the volume on the T.V and answered her phone, "Hey Jules, whats up? Oh my God, what?! Is he okay?" She bolted up from the couch and waddled toward the door and slipped her feet into her nike's, "I'm on my way." Shawn shoved her phone back into her pocket. She pulled the door close and rushed to the elevator, thankfully the wait was quick and the ride was fast. She got into her car and headed to Cedars-Sinai. As she drove down the rode tears ran from her eyes and she couldn't control them.

When she got to the hospital, she got out of her car and headed toward the entrance. When she got inside she saw Julianne. She rushed over to her and nearly collapsed into her arms, "Where is he? Where's Derek?" The pain and fear was evidant in her expression. Julianne wordlessly lead her Derek's room, when they walked in he was already awake. He had been there for hours before they had finally got there.

Shawn rushed over to him and took his hand in her own and kissed the top of his hands. "Baby,are you okay?" He watched her, confused, "I'm fine, but what did you just call me?" Shawn's eyes widened and she prayed he was just kidding, "Do you remember me?"

"Of course I do, Shawn. But I havent seen you in months." He slurred and Shawn quickly let go of his hand. He looked to Julianne, who had her hand over her mouth in shock, "Where's Sarah?"


	14. Chapter 14

Shawn wanted to just die, curl up into a ball and die. She sat by Derek's side and watched him sleep. He had been sleeping for hours and he wasn't exactly in the best mindset when he fell asleep. After they told him that he and Sarah were no longer together and he was with Shawn, he was stunned. And he was absolutely shocked to find out that he was the father of Shawn's baby.

Shawn sat there and cried alone for hours. Julianne left a couple hours ago and she had been alone with him. She rubbed her thumb across his hand and the tears ran from her eyes. She couldn't believe this happened, she never thought something like it couldn't even happen. She squeezed his hand and entwined their fingers.

She was happy Derek believed her when she told him that they were in fact together, but it killed her to know that he didn't remember any of it. They no longer shared memories. All the ultrasounds, the kicks, and decorations. None of it. They no longer shared those moments.

She felt the baby kick as she sat back in the chair and she sobbed as she took his hand and placed it on her stomach. He didn't wake up but he moved a little and readjusted himself. His leg was in a cast and his left was in a sling, he literally looked a mess. He squeezed her hand and she looked up at him, he was smiling at her and she smiled back through tears. "Babe? Why are you crying?"

"You remember me?" Shawn's eyes widened and she wiped her puffy eyes. He looked at her and furrowed his brows, "didn't we go over this? You're my friend, former dance partner and apparently the mother of my child."

"Do you remember any of it?" Shawn hoped that he wasn't rehashing what they had told him. Derek squeezed her hand and smiled again. "Not really, everything is very fuzzy. The last thing I remember is my break up with Sarah. Everything else is fuzzy and in pieces."

"Do you need anything? I could call the nurse or something." She reached for the pager but he pulled her hand back. She looked back at him and he looked like he was battling with his thoughts, "how long have we been-"

"Together?" Shawn smiled and he nodded, "about 6 months." He nodded at the information and cleared his throat, "have we, we, you know…" He looked so embarrassed and that was probably the first time he had seen him get flushed. She laughed and shook her head, "Not since the night I got pregnant."

"Oh," Derek said quickly and shifted in the hospital bed, "Do you know when you get to take me home?" Shawn honestly wasn't listening when the doctors were explaining what was wrong with him, "Umm.. I think they said something about next week. But I was going to stay in Jules' house and she was going to stay at your place and take care of you."

"You dont have to do that. If you were living with me, then you're going to need to stay there with me. I heard the doctor say something about keeping the normal routine going. So my memory can come back." He didn't really want her to leave anyways, something about being with her felt natural, and he didn't want his baby sister taking care of him. " want you there. I want to remember."

* * *

Shawn sat in the rocking chair in the nursery wiping rogue tears from her eyes. That nursery had become a room of solitude, and she found herself in there more often than not. She found herself abandoning her classes for the past couple weeks and the only time she left the house was when she went for her check ups and sonograms. It was too difficult to leave the confines of the apartment. She still got weird stares except now they were stares filled with sympathy, and that was worse.

Derek's memory still wasnt back and they hadn't sat down to have an actual conversation since they came home. There was a rift in there relationship and it was tearing her apart. Nothing about any of it felt normal. Even when they argued they still didn't go a day without speaking, touching, or even looking at each other. To make matter's worse, she believed he was going through some mid life crisis or something, and he wasnt even thirty yet.

He was gone all the time and she never knew where he was. When she called or texted him, he didn't answer until hours had passed and it was always an "I'm fine" or "I'll talk to you about it later." His answers were never clear. She talked to his family, Melissa, Sabina, and Mark, and they all said he would come around. But she wanted to know when, was he going to wait until she was in the hospital giving birth?

She was almost 2 weeks away from labor and they still hadn't talked about baby names. It's not like he would be comfortable with it and neither would she. It was Derek, but it wasnt. He wasn't the same person and Shawn wanted him back. But she had also come to terms with that not happening. She just didn't want to accept it.

She pushed herself up from the rocking chair and headed out the room and to the bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror, she hated her reflection. Her eye make up was smudged and smeared, her eyes were puffy and red, and her nose had a bright tinge, and her hair was frizzy because she kept passing her hands through it. She had been a wreck for the past weeks and she didn't even care. The only thing that kept reminding her that her life used to be semi normal was her belly. she looked like she was going to burst.

She sighed as she flipped the light switch down and walked down the hall toward her room. She shlept toward the bathroom and headed to the tub. She turned on the warm water and poured some shower gel in the water and swished it around with her hands. She walked back into the room and picked out an oversized t-shirt and underwear. She rushed back into the bathroom and turned off the water and got in the tub. After about an 1 1/2 she got out and got dressed.

After cutting off the water, she headed to her bed. She and readjusted the her pillows and pulled back the covers before she got into it. She shifted around to get comfortable but she wasn't able to gt comfy, so she quit trying. After about five minutes of sitting there, she decided that she didn't need Derek to pick out baby names, so she got a pen and notepad from the nightstand. Before she could write anything, Derek waltzed into the room, "You're home early."

"It's 11:30." Derek said deadpanned as he pulled his shirt over his head, kicked off his pants and got into bed next to her. Shawn rolled her eyes and clicked her pen and started scribbling names, "I'm just not used to seeing you before dawn."

"Are we going to argue about this again?" He looked at her and irritation was written all over his face. Shawn let out a loud sigh but she didnt look up at him and continued to write on the notepad. She felt tears threaten to leave her eyes, but she held them in and whispered under her breath. "I just miss you sometimes."

He didnt hear her and a silence fell over the room. He laid on his back and watched her write on the page, "What are you doing?" Shawn looked up at him and looked a little lost, "Huh? oh. I'm just jotting down some baby names. But I'm not sure on any of them." Derek nodded slowly as he reprocessed his feelings about having a baby, "So, what are they."

"Riley, Haley, Caeley, Kaydence, Amelia, Charlie, just to name a few. Well those are the ones a like. But I havent decided which ones I like together." Shawn said softly and tapped the pen against her chin. Derek nodded again and sat up, "What about we use your middle name?"

"Hmm, I don't know." Shawn looked at the list of names, "What it go with?" Derek thought for a second, "I like Haley and Riley." He took the note pad and scribbled on it, before he read it out loud, "Riley Machel, or Haley Machel. Pick one." Shawn took looked at the names for a about two minutes before she decided. "I like the second one."

"Then Haley Machel it is." He smiled at her. They were so close that Shawn could feel his breath. But he was being a tease, "good night Shawnie." He fell back onto his pillow with his back to her. Shawn pretended to kiss him, when in reality it was the air, before she laid down, "Love you too."


	15. Chapter 15

Shawn woke up with Derek's arms wrapped around her and she couldn't help but think she was dreaming. She felt his arm tighten around her when she tried to move and was positive she was dreaming. She opened her eyes and looked over her shoulder to see that she wasnt dreaming and he was actually attached to her. Derek had his head resting on his bent arm, his face was buried in her hair, and his arm was tucked around her waist.

Shawn smiled and closed her eyes again. She let go of a contented sigh and relaxed into the feeling of being wrapped up in this arms. There was a sensation that she had been missing since the accident. The feeling of his warm breath on her neck, the feel of skin-to-skin contact, and the safety that came with being next to him. It was something she had gotten used to. But sadly, it was a form of contentment she would have to get used to no experiencing because he wasn't the same person, nor, from what she had been told my numerous doctors, he never would be. But she also held on to the hope that he could be.

She shifted onto her back and took his hand in her own and watched their hands and fingers entangle. That was also something she missed- just holding his hand. She missed the little things that defined their relationship. The way he looked at her with love, or the soft spoken kindness that was never lacking in his voice when they talked, or the way they could say everything they needed to say without uttering a single word.

Now, they barely looked at each other, and when they did, they were mere milliseconds of a second. And there was no room for love if he was barely home. She turned her head and watched him, hoping he would open his eyes and she would find the love she was looking for.

There was something off about his behavior in the last couple days, and you're probably wondering what else could possibly be wrong with him. He already lost his memory, right? What else could possibly be wrong with him? Of course something else could be wrong. Like explained before, he was never around and she never knew where the hell he was. Shawn was a worrier, and she wanted to know where he could have possibly been spending all that time.

She studied his face and noticed there a scar along his jaw. She had never noticed it before, maybe it was because he was always at least ten feet away from her, eh, you be the judge. But that's besides the point. She lifted her finger to his face and lightly grazed his jaw line, she then leaned up and kissed the scar.

She smiled when remembered country week on DWTS. There was some moments the camera don't catch and that week was full of them. She had injured her knee, again, and she thought she was done with her competition. But Derek made her feel better, he made her feel like a little kid, but he made her feel better. He made her show him the parts of her knee that hurt, and he kissed them to make them feel better. It had become their ritual, kissing each other's injuries.

There was a part of her that hoped that if she kissed him enough, he would be okay- they'd be okay. That wasn't a possibility, because they weren't just hurt, they were injured. Their relationship was injured, and there wasn't a bandaid or kiss in the world that could make that disappear. That's what killed her the most, knowing that she couldn't go back in time and change what happened to him.

For a while, she blamed it all on Sarah, but she knew that somethings could never be her fault. No matter how much she wanted. Then there was the little voice in her head screaming that it was all Sarah's fault and if she had just stayed gone and out of their lives, none of the pain she had been suffering for he past 2 1/2 weeks would have been experienced. And of course, Shawn battled with her conflicted feelings every day in the nursery.

Something about that nursery shut out the outside world and she could just relax in there. She would rock in the rocking chair and count how many times, their now named baby, Haley would kick her. It was still very foreign to her. Growing up, and being so involved in her sport, she had never thought about the possibility of children, but she was a kid who was invested in what was normal to her. She didnt have time to make those decisions and choices. But then she met Derek.

They met by accident really, kinda just bumped into each other when she was leaving rehearsal with Mark. They were introduced and she of course, made a fool of herself. It was the equivalent to a high school crush and that's all she thought it would be. It seemed implausible, he was in fact, a man, and she was a naive 17 year old teenager. It all changed when she tried her comeback and failed. He was there for her and they got really close. He was someone she could always talk to, and she considered him to be one of her best friends. Soon after, feelings grew deeper, and one thin lead to another, they got drunk. And here we are.

She looked back up at him again and felt tears sting her eyes. She found herself wondering how they had gotten so broken. They might not have been irreparable but, they were getting close. Whenever they spoke to each other, there was an underlying tension. And Shawn hated feeling and even seeing it. Tears dripped from her eyes and soaked into the pillow until she started sobbing. She felt Derek moving beside her but she didn't look up at him until he cupped her cheek and wiped away her tears. "What's wrong?"

She pulled away from him and wiped her tears, "this. I mean, what are we doing Derek? This isn't working anymore." She struggled to get up from her spot and Derek tried to help her, but she swatted his hand away. He looked at her and rubbed his eyes. "Seriously, babe, it's too early for this."

"Really? Because I wouldn't know now would I? It's seven in the morning. You're usually waltzing in right about now! So what are you usually doing this early in the morning?!" Shawn hollered. Derek yawned, "is that what this is about? Really!?"

"Yeah, really! Why can't you just sta- "

"because I don't know how too! I don't know how to be this person!" He hollered back and collapsed on to the bed. "This isn't something I can just get used to." Shawn opened her mouth to reply, but his phone started to buzz. She picked it up and her heart sank. She read the message out loud, "'Good morning Derek, when are you coming to pick me up? We're going to be late.' GUESS YOU'RE ADJUSTING JUST FINE!" She smacked the phone across his bare chest and walked over to the closet.

She slid the door open and pulled out a bag. She tossed it at him viciously, "get out!"

"what?" He was genuinely confused and all she did was stare at him and point toward the door. "Where am I going to go?"

"I don't know, but wherever it is, you're late!" She pointed to the door again. She stood her ground as he approached her, "Shawn, baby, I-I"

"Get out! NOW!" She glared at him. He backed away and pulled a shirt out of a drawer and slipped it on. He wordlessly walked through the door and disappeared down the hallway.

Shawn walked backward and collapsed on to the bed. She burst into tears and shook uncontrollably when she heard him leave. She had packed that bag for him but she never thought she'd see the day she would have to give it to him.

The day came.


	16. Chapter 16

Derek sat in his car wondering what the hell just happened, he was completely confused. He wanted to know how he had gotten in that position when his phone rang, he read the caller ID and sighed, "hello?"

_"What did you do?!"_

"Does is matter? Whose side are you on Jules?!" He gripped the steering wheel and then adjusted his seat.

_"The right one… I know that everything has been off with you lately and I don't pretend to understand what it is, but it hasn't been easy on Shawn either. You're not the only one who was affected by this. Oh,and did you forget that she's pregnant, and ready to burst!?"_

Derek groaned and rested his forehead against the steering wheel. "I know, God! She won't let me forget. Wait, that didn't come out right! Nevermind."

_"And please for the love of Christ, tell me you aren't seeing Sarah behind her back!" After she didn't get a reply, she groaned, "Derek! You have got to be kidding me! What the hell is wrong with you?! Have you lost your fucking mind?!"_

"Jesus Christ Julianne!" Derek hollered as she continued to yell at him. " Lord. I just wanted to talk to her about somethings."

_"Derek! Do you hear yourself when you speak? Remember what happened the last time you met with her! That doesn't even matter at this point, don't you care about what she's done to your relationship with Shawn!?"_

"No I don't remember!" He shouted and banged his hand on the steering wheel and scooted lower down in his seat as people stared at him. "why don't you just tell me what she did that was so horrible!"

_"Go talk to Shawn! I know your still in the parking lot."_

"What the hell. Are you watching me from somewhere?" He looked around the parking lot, opened the door and swung his feet out the door as he scoured the area

_"No idiot. Whenever you and Shawn used to argue, you used to call me and tell me that you were still in the parking lot. Then I'd tell you to take your ass upstairs." He heard her laugh and take a deep breath. "You may not remember, but your body does. Now take your ass upstairs!"_

Before he could answer her, he heard the dial tone. He sighed and hunched over. All of a sudden, he got a weird feeling and his head started reeling. A sudden rush of memories hit him. He remembered the moment he found out that Shawn was pregnant, and Sarah broke up. He looked up and smacked his forehead, "what am I doing?"

* * *

Shawn rocked in the rocking chair and rubbed her belly, "so guess what Hales, your daddy is being a big jerk." But even though he was being a big ass, she couldn't stop crying. Everyone kept calling her and asking her if she was okay, but everything was getting worse. How was she supposed to be strong if she couldn't stop crying? "Guess that's my problem Hales. I love your daddy." It was easy to pretend that she hated him, but as easy as it seemed, she could never do it.

She got up from the chair and waddled toward the bathroom across the hallway. She rinsed her face with warm water and quickly dried her face. She flipped off the light switch and walked down the hall, past the dining room and kitchen and into the living room. She walked over to the sliding door and went out on to the balcony. The sun beamed down on her and she sighed as the heat radiated against her face. She leaned against the steel railing and shifted her weight on her feet. She rolled her neck, trying to release the tension that had built up in her.

* * *

Derek unlocked the front door and walked as quietly as he could. He made his way into the foyer but stopped when his phone rang. Looking at the caller ID, he quickly answered, "I'm going to need you to stop calling me." He shifted the phone to his other hand as he wiggled out of his jacket. _"Is this about Shawn? I thought we went over this, we're not doing anything wrong."_ He slipped his feet from in his shoes, and left them where they were, "Then why do I feel like I'm cheating?"

After about a minute of silence, he heard Sarah groan dramatically, _"What's so special about her?! I'm pregnant too!"_ when her voice rang through the phone, he paused and thought, "I dont know what it is, but I plan on findi- remembering what it is." Before she could reply, he hung up on her and shoved his phone back into his pocket.

Derek made his way across the living room and over to the balcony. He stopped when he saw Shawn in her "barefoot and pregnant" state. He leaned in the doorway and smiled. She looked so peaceful, but he was just looking at the back of her head, so don't take his word for it. Her hair blew with the calm wind, and every once in a while, she would pass her hand through it.

After staring at her for about 5 minutes, he slowly crept up behind her and brushed her hair to the side, kissed her neck and placed his arms on either side of her. He heard her sigh and he smiled against the skin of her neck. She smiled but hid her face from him, "I hate it when you do that." He smirked and leaned toward her ear and whispered, "What? This?" he left a trail of kisses from behind her ear and to her neck.

She turned toward him and placed her hands on is chest, trying to push him away, but he held her tighter, "I'm sorry."

She rolled her eyes and kept trying to push him away, "You're always sorry."

"This time… I mean it."


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: well, this is embarrassing...**

* * *

After staring at her for about 5 minutes, he slowly crept up behind her and brushed her hair to the side, kissed her neck and placed his arms on either side of her. He heard her sigh and he smiled against the skin of her neck. She smiled but hid her face from him, "I hate it when you do that." He smirked and leaned toward her ear and whispered, "What? This?" he left a trail of kisses from behind her ear and to her neck.

She turned toward him and placed her hands on is chest, trying to push him away, but he held her tighter, "I'm sorry."

She rolled her eyes and kept trying to push him away, "You're always sorry."

"This time… I mean it."

Shawn rolled her eyes and pushed him away, "Prove it." She smirked as she watched him try and find the words to prove he meant what he said. As he opened his eyes to speak, he opened his mouth to speak, his phone started to vibrate in his pocket. He groaned as he read the caller ID and Shawn simply watched him as he began to smirk. He lifted the phone to her face and shook it side to side before he chucked it over the balcony.

Her eyes widened but her initial shock didnt last long. She looked over the railing and saw a bewildered man holding his head and looking around while he yelled obscenities. She laughed and looked back up at Derek, "Okay, first of all, that proves absolutely nothing. If Sarah wants to talk to you, she will. Second, uh, now you just need a new phone, again." She scoffed and pushed past him. "you cant eve say you're the same way."

He threw his head back and groaned, rubbing his hands over his face in frustration. He turned on his heel and walked inside behind her. "okay, i know that probably the best way to do it. but thats what i thought of at the time…" He trailed off and tried to think of how to explain how he was feeling about his feelings without inadvertently belittling her help. "I know I havent been the best person to be around, but I've just been really- I've been stuck in my own head, trying to recoup all of my thoughts an memory. I'm lost"

"I've been trying to understand where you're coming from, but you push me away." She rested her back on the arm rest and turned her body toward him. She watched him, but she couldn't tell what he was thinking. After a few minutes he looked up at her, "For the past weeks, I've been driving around just looking around to see if anything would come back, but nothing did. So I called Sarah, the one person I remembered, and I found out that we broke up, and weren't on the best terms, but she's pregnant too. So I wanted to see what would happen if we hung out a little. And I know that's wrong because I have you. And I'm sorry. But in a matter of days, I was thrown into a situation that was new to me. The person I thought I loved didn't make me happy anymore, but we're tied together because of her pregnancy." he paused to see if Shawn was bothered by anything he was saying but her face was blank and she looked like she was processing what he was saying, so he continued. "Now, I'm living with one of my closest friends, who's also about to burst, the media follows me around like I'm some sort of god, and I have no idea what anyone is asking me about anymore. Everything's the same, yet so different. I feel like captain America after waking up in a new time."

"Did you just compare yourself to a superhero?" she giggled and soon it turned into a full on laugh, and soon they were both laughing. After a brief laughing session, there was an awkward silence and without uttering a single word, Shawn struggled out of the couch and took him by the hand. He looked down at their hands and smiled as their fingers intertwined, "Where are you taking me?"

"Shhh." She hauled him toward the kitchen and sat him on the bar stool. "Everyday, for the past 6 almost 7 months, I would meet you in this kitchen when I come home from wherever. I would walk in and you would be eating either nachos, doritos, or MnM's, greet me with a kiss and ask me how my day was. I would complain about being the only pregnant girl in a class, the wierd looks I get and you'd change the subject by hugging me and kissing me again." She walked around the island and opened the refrigerator and grabbed a vitamin water as he tried to remember anything.

His head ached again and he placed it on the cool marble and tried to ease his inner frustration. He was actually mad at himself for not being able to remember any of it. Sighing, he lifted his head and used his hands to hold his head up. Shawn looked like she was yearning for him to remember anything… something, "No?" He shook his head and she looked dissatisfied and disappointed. She sucked in a breath and walked over to him. "C'mon." She pulled him by his hand and he stumbled behind her, "where are you taking me?" She didn't answer him and she led him into the picture hallway. Instead of explaining any of them, she just let him stare at them.

There were various pictures on the wall, it was almost like a shrine. Pictures of family outings and special occasions and holidays, like Christmas, Thanksgiving, or one of his sisters birthdays. He stopped on a picture of him and Shawn on the beach. In the picture, she had her back to him and she had the biggest smile on her face, he had his arms wrapped around her and his chin was rested on the top of her head. they looked so happy together. He looked to Shawn while he pointed at the picture, "I remember this one. Haha! I remember this!" He grabbed her face and kissed both Her cheeks, her nose, and then finally her lips. They were quick kisses that lasted about 2 seconds, they were just manifests of his sheer excitement.

Shawn giggled and watched him, he was about 2 seconds from jumping up and down and singing a victory cry. "You're insane." He stopped and looked at her. "But you love me."

"and who told you that?" She smirked as he wordlessly approached her, "you did." He leaned in and looked at her for any glimpses of hesitation from her. As he continued to close the gap between them, Shawn lifted her index finger to his lips, "I have something else to show you." He groaned and she rolled her eyes, "shut up, and c'mon."

She led him to what would soon be Haley's room. She walked in ahead of him, but he stopped and stared blankly. She looked at him and place her hand on his forearm, "Are you okay?" He nodded, "Considering…. I'm fine." Shawn let her hand slip down his arm and she walked further into the room.

Derek stood in the doorway and leaned watched Shawn run her hand across the dressed crib and walk over to the rocking chair and pick up a oversized Teddy Bear. She sat down and began to rock in the chair and look up at him, "remember anything? All of it…none?" He nodded but didn't divulge into the details.

He walked over to a book shelf and sat on the carpet and leaned against the wall and the side of the shelf. They both sat in silence and Shawn could tell by just looking at him, he was overwhelmed. He was looking down at his lap and fiddling with his thumbs and the hem of his shirt, it was something she knew he did when he was nervous or anxious. She stopped rocking in the chair and yawned. "I'm tired, I'm going to take a nap. Okay?" He made eye contact with her and gave a small smile.

He looked after her as she left the room and pulled the door behind her. He stood up from the floor and walked across the room toward the chair and sat in it. He looked around the room and sighed. As soon as Shawn had opened that door, memories rushed back to him and he became very overwhelmed and he couldn't process the feelings that hit him. He remembered picking out every piece of furniture with Shawn, he remembered painting the room. He huffed a quick chuckle when he remembered getting into a little bit of a paint war with her. Their hair was tinted pink for a couple days.

He leaned his head on the back of the rocking chair. He smiled when he thought about how they picked out the chair. It was the very last thing they picked out for that room in preparation for the baby, Haley. That still felt weird to him, saying baby. He worried about what kind of father he would be. Of coarse he had experience with his sister's kids, but he could return them because they weren't his. Everyone thought he would be a natural, but to him, it wasn't the same thing. What if after Haley was born and he had no idea what to do? What if he was a bad parent? "Shut up Derek! You're going to fine. Great, now I'm talking to myself."

"Derek!" Shawn shrieked from down the hallway. He bolted from the room and towards their bedroom, he pushed the doors open. "What ha-" he stopped in the door way and saw Shawn hunched over and clutching her stomach, he could see the pain on her face, "my water just broke! It's time." he rushed over to her and helped her out of the bed. She pointed toward the dresser and he knew what she meant. He took out a pair of her sweats, panties, and one of his black t-shirts. Despite the pain in her lower stomach, she got dressed slipped her swollen feet into a pair of flip flops while Derek pulled the sheets off the bed and put them in empty clothes basket. After she was dressed, she put her hair into a messy bun.

Derek grabbed the diaper bag from the closet. He looked around the walk in closet and scanned the shelves, "Now is not a good idea to hide from me, camera….aha!" He grabbed the camera and slipped his hand in the strap. He pointed it toward himself, "We're heading to Cedar-Sinai now." He walked toward Shawn and turned it to her, "Why is that Babe? "

"Because my water just broke and I'm going to go into labor now." She beamed. Derek smiled, "Ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be."


End file.
